The Roller Coaster Ride

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This ride is so scary.
There are so many drops.
I pray for the uphills.
But yet, they’re so small.

Sometimes I wish for the ride to be over.
But, it continues to go on.

It seems like when an uphill starts coming up,
Unexpectedly, I turn a different way,
And head down another drop.

How much farther down can I drop?
It seems that I am already so far down.
People try to help me reach the uphills,
But they always fail and I fall right back down.

So many people have already given up.
I wish I could give up too,
Because all I see ahead are drops,
But I see no end.
It’s still so very far ahead.
It’s almost like it never ends.

All the pain.
The suffering.
I wish it could end.
But alas, it is hopeless.

I am a coward.
I will have to continue,
Living through my, which seems, never ending nightmare.
As people take advantage of me and I no longer care.
Or do anything to stop it.
Because it is hopeless.
I am hopeless…

As I sit here,
Slowly dying inside.
Losing all hope.
And all I can see now is darkness.
As it surrounds me,
Taking me away from those who care about me,
And I let no one in,
‘Cause I am afraid to be hurt anymore.

For if I am hurt anymore,
I may break,
And never be the same.
I will no longer be the girl everyone sees me as.
I will be nothing.
A forgotten memory.

In my place will lie glass,
From my shattered dreams.
From my thoughts that were never shared.
A shadow,
From my destroyed heart.
And a small ball of light,
From the hope,
That I have lost…


Spark In The Dark

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Just take a knife, just stab and twist
Please, please do it, it would be less pain than this
I’d rather take a drug a shot or a pill
I’ll take anything now, as long as it’ll kill
My hearts gotten so dark and now it’s a stone
no more loving, I just want to be alone
This demented darkness is where I now reside
There’s no escaping it, there’s nowhere to hide
I trusted you with everything and it turned out like this
You pushed me over the edge, now I’ve fallen into the abyss
A place that is dark, so desolate and cold
There’s nothing here but ashes of my memories to hold
Memories that used to be joyous, filed with light
Now come with the darkness, tears, and the fright
My trust has died, my will has fled
This has hurt me more, than you could ever comprehend
You’ve filled me with this poison, like a deadly adder
I wish I could forget, act like it doesn’t matter
Forget and be free of this state
I cannot accept this as my fate
When I encourage myself to stand proud and tall
Your twisted demons surround me and make me fall
deeper and deeper into this tragedy
I struggle to grab on to the last piece of my sanity
I continue to rise and climb up to get away from here
To the promising light beckons me near
I’m climbing up and out of this dark pit
There is a spark keeping the candle of hope lit
The light is shining down, like a hand stretched to me
I grab a hold and it sets me free
I bathe in the light with a lingering shadow
I will walk into the promise of a new tomorrow.

Heart of mine

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Why won’t you let me fall in love .
Oh heart of mine
Why don’t you trust ,
Why don’t you believe ,
That some one’s there for all of us.
Damn can’t you see,
I’m Tired of the fun and games
That sinful joy we get from lust.
They’re not just tears
It’s more like pain,
That starts within
Eyes bleed when it rains.
And my biggest fear
You’ll Hurt me , hurt me
You know I’ll never strike back
Jump, and dance to the beat
Of the music I cant hear
Stop the commotion
Show me another emotion
Cause it’s never to late
To let go of the hate
I want the long nights of talking
The topics worth remembering
Dates and anniversaries
What I’m tryna say
Damn can’t you see
Oh greedy me
I want it all.
Oh heart of mine
Why can’t I fall in love.

When I Needed You…

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Lost and lonely
Wandered far away from the happy place
No place of solace
Non to comfort me on such a dark day as this

You are the reason for my misery
The reason I shed these many tears
My eyes are weary
No one to dry these tears

Flow! Flow!
Till there is no more to shed
Maybe it is the only cure I need to wash away this hurtful memories that hunt me night and day.

Slowly, down the hill
Beneath, deeper still
Can’t stop now
not when the wheels won’t slow down.

Drenched in the rain
Can’t stop the pain
Chest locks tight
This still dark night

Lonely and burned
I needed you to pull me out
Save me from me I moaned
but, my cries were empty and far out.

You were so oblivious to my call for help
You didn’t see me drowning
You didn’t see my tears Even the moon hid in fear

If you had Pause awhile,
Looked deep within,
Let your heart
Hear my heart speak

You would have
Heard the Whisper of loved one forlorn
Longing for a touch from one held dear.

Incomplete Forever…..

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it was a picture…
a picture which was my reason to live
that picture was a day of my life
that day, when you came to see me
it had so many pieces..
when they were joined together
it made that picture complete
like a bus stop, church, beach
bus stop, coin box, ice cream
journey by bus, finally my home
mom, dad, grandma, that beautiful night
it had a piece, a most precious one
when i had lunch with you
that moment was so precious
not only that..each and every moment
i never thought that you would share
such a moment with someone other
coz i have never allowed anyone
to share any same moment like the one
the one which i had with you..
i lost a piece of my picture
i lost a piece of my love
i lost a piece of my life
its now incomplete forever
coz i would never ever love to
remember that..

Hurt Poems