Crying Confusion

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Confusion lurks within me,
And tears to only drain out.
This feeling coming at me,
Seem to just come with no warning.
Suddenly, I cry alone in the dark,
In my sleep where I’m scared.
Fear of falling of being lost,
Tears coming nonstop,
As to see myself cry out of nowhere,
To know that I’ve cried for no reason.
But as I think: “Everything happens for a reason.”
Then what’s the reason I cried at night so many times?
Then what’s the reason I’m feeling this way?
Then what’s the reason why this feeling is following me?
It has to know that I cry alone,
To know that no one knows.
I hate to see myself cry with these tears,
As my mind and heart fight over my body.
Tormented and falling,
I comfort myself to only know no one comforts me
at the age of six up until now.
I asked myself: “Why or what am I confused about?”
But no answers has come into mind so far.
Yet this confusion follows me like a part of me.
I don’t want to cry,
I don’t want to feel,
I don’t want to be hurt,
I don’t. I don’t. No… I don’t
How come I feel so confused for no reason?

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