Nothing matters
It’s all gone
I’m empty and she doesn’t care
It doesn’t matter
How I feel or what I say
She’s far away
And wouldn’t stay
No matter what I say
It wouldn’t matter anyway
I used to wait for the day
Just to hear her say
I miss you
Guess I was the biggest fool
Didn’t want to think you were cruel
I’m alone now and broken
Left without even one token
Of love or caring
It all died on my birthday
How could I be so daring?
Thought you would understand
Why I was so upset
Instead you got mad at me
And hung up on me
It’s been a week
You wouldn’t even talk to me
How could you do that to me?
Nothing matters at all
I used to stand so tall
Now I wish for the stars
To cover up all these scars
Far away and small
Wonder if you think about me at all
Again I’m a fool for thinking
Guess I should be drinking
If only that were the way to get rid of my sadness
And bring me some gladness
Like I used to have
When I was with you
It was long ago
Why can’t I just let it go?
Like you have
You don’t feel me anymore
You’ve stopped keeping score
It’s all gone, as are you
Now I’m left with nothing to do
But brew
Over what once was
Just because
I’m an idiot and cared
And that is why I dared
To say what I said on my birthday
But I shouldn’t have shared
Because now I feel scared
And lost
And lonely
And hurt
And angry
And stupid
To think there ever was a cupid
For the two of us
Why did I make such a fuss?
It’s all over
I should just roll over
Because nothing matters anymore
You think I’m a bore
You think I’m a chore
And probably a whore
I can’t erase my mistakes
I believed you had forgiven me
I believed you loved me
And even when that part of it ended
I believed that at least there was something that mended
And that we had a friendship
You said you still adored me
You said that your heart still tightened
And that you would become frightened
When I was in trouble
And caught in some bubble
I believed you would help me
Get out of the rubble
Of this life that I live
In Binghamton while you are in Texas
Instead of staying close to me
You chose to make distance
I felt it but ignored it
I thought it was what you needed
I thought I would give it to you
Because you were my friend
And I loved you
I didn’t mind letting you go
I just didn’t want to lose you for good
Yet I did.
How could I know that you would
Let me go?
You let go fast
You forgot our past
Yes we had a past
A good past, a bad past
A past nonetheless
I understand you though
You don’t want to remember it
You’d rather forget what we had
It is easier that way
I understand that
Who would want to remember the pain?
So you let me go fast and furious
Anytime I tried to talk about our past
You ran away fast
And I was left last
And I acted rash
It made me so sad though
That I was so slow
To recognize what you did
Long ago
And what others could see
But I never wanted it to be like that
And so I sat, and got fat
Denying what you could see
Which was what could again never be.
You saw the truth in front of us
Coming at us like a bus
About to hit
Difference between you and me was,
You got out of the way
And I chose to stay
In the way
Of a tragedy
Which was my soul shattered
You had sense enough to scatter
While I was like, “what’s the matter’?
What a fool I was
Thinking that you still loved me like you once did
When instead you saw me as a kid
A fool and youngster
Naïve to the core
I have always been so unsure
This is not your problem though
And you made that clear
When you forgot all that I held dear

We grew up together,
We were close,

Time went by and it was time to graduate,
That in which I hate,

Because we would have to move on,
And have to say so long,

I moved away,
And he stayed,

It had been two years since we saw each other,
And when we did we had great laughter,

We talked about old time and our lives,
There were some things I despised,

It was time to say goodbye again,
When would we see each other when,

A few months later I heard he was engaged,
There was a big part of me that was full of rage,

Because I liked him in school,
And I still do yet I really do,

As the months doubled,
I ran into some trouble,

I had to move home,
though I moaned for so long,

I heard things didn’t go well for him,
As I prayed the lord and said amen,

I was hurt inside,
Because it looked like he wanted to cry,

He moved home,
Now I didn’t feel so alone,

We hung out a lot,
As he told me the whole plot,

I told him I liked him more than I should,
He said maybe someday if he could,

He’s my best friend,
I hope this stray will soon have a happy end!

It was the moment when time seems to pause for awhile,
I was dazzled and taken for what I had witnessed,

feeling weak and defenseless against your lovely face and

timeless precious smile,

oh dear you take my breath away.
I had tried a thousand times trying to ignore you,

make you feel not being noticed nor admired,

avoiding every longed moment and opportunity

to have just a glimpse of you

but somehow again,

I was being conquered by your amazing passion in life,

and leaving me helpless of not loving you.
We became friends,

even thought in reality I never know who you really are or

what I may end up if gamble my tired and lonely heart

to someone as mysterious as you,

fears slowly creeping deep inside for I am afraid

that the beauty you had shown will one day just disappear.
I wish I could easily untie my heart from my horrible past,

I am confused and frightened for the truth is
my soul longed to know you more,

where heart beats faster its time you are near.
Yes, I do desire of being with you all the time,

dreaming to hold your hand and kiss your tender lips,

and if I had one last wish before I die

I would rather spend it a day with someone as beautiful as you.

Near the wishing well, our hands entwined,
Where stand we to see the direction of our lives.

Frustrated and angry with all that we have tried,
I’m tired and dying, hoping to be revived.

A copper coin from me to you, to give to the well
To pay its due.
My hopes I toss in too,
Oh please! Please, make these dreams come true!

Beneath the calm and glassy pool, an army of hopes and dreams lies still,
Lulled to sleep in waters cool, entrapped within a frigid chill.
Cast in ages past and long ago by others in righteous act,
By lovers and dreamers or so, like brothers of a secret pact.

With bated breath and fragile heart, I’m anxious for your toss.
Each moment casts a fiery dart, and this wait becomes a cross.

I wonder if your wish will be as mine.
Will our hearts merge to form a single line?
Or, and I dread the thought,
Will you commit a crime?
Will your soul be bought, will your cast be far from mine?

Of your choice I have no assurance.
Of mine, I’ve known forever.
I have loved you without insurance, and I will love you ever.

And as that golden hope floats from fragile fingers,
Toward the awaiting ocean of whispered prayers,
I know that in its sweeping, graceful arch there lingers
Abounding joy eternal, or torturous, painful cares.

Here near the wishing well, our hands entwined,
Where stand we to see the direction of our lives.

I’ve lost something very precious today,
I’ve lost something that never ever was,
I have lost the core of my soul today
And I mourn in despair for my sad loss.

I have lost what I once believed was true,
I’ve lost what I once thought would surely be,
I have lost what I have believed in for years
And I cry out in my sorrow-why me!

A lugubrious expression on my face,
I do try in vain to our story retrace

The memories are hazy, but very strong
And I woefully wonder, “What what went wrong?”

Teary-eyed I remember those parties-
Oh, the funthe joythe laughter-so hearty!

Our school festival-how we danced! How we sang!
And throughout the day and night, our voices rang!

Then, we were all the Children of Innocence,
Then, pride, greed, jealousy were of no essence.

We all believed in living for the moment,
And our time together was very well spent.

We were oblivious to the world outside
And our immaturity, we did not hide.

We walked hand-in-hand without a single care,
Our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions we did share.

Some said that we were more than just childhood friends,
Others said we would stick by each other to the end.

But we did care little to what people said
And with our own lives, we simply went ahead.

‘Friends Forever!’ That’s what we declared to all,
We would stand united, we would never fall.

But Alas! The sands of time have changed us now,
I just don’t see why NoI just don’t see how.

You now confess that you’ve just been using me,
And my heart cries out aloud, “How can that be!”

I trusted you! Oh, I confided in you!
Now that you’re gone, what am I supposed to do?
I believed you
When you told me that I was your best friend.
I believed you
When you said our friendship would never end.
My heart would skip a beat
Each and every time you’d give me that smile.
My heart would skip a beat
Every time we would stop and talk a while.

I ask myself, “Why did it have to end now?”
“Is there nothing we can do some way somehow?”

But you give me the answer loud and clear-
You don’t need me close, you don’t need me near.

You now say that you don’t want me any more.
With those words, you kill my heart from the core.

You now say that we were never ever friends,
You just needed me to achieve your own ends.

And now that you are happy, you are content,
You wish to take back the “friendship” you had lent.

You tell me that I must move on in my life,
There is a long road ahead a lot more strife.

I sniff but say, Yes, I will on, My Love,”
“I shall take wings of hope and fly like a dove.”

Your memory will live on deep in my heart,
But with my faith and hope, my life will re-start,

For we often lose those whom we love, we trust,
But to learn to move on in life is a must.

Im hurt, but I will be okay, I will be fine.
Between self pity and strength is a thin line

I sigh as I look back at my so-called friend.
We were wrong, My Dear, our friendship did end.

You have moved on now and so shall I, in time.
To be sad, to be insecure, is no crime,

But I won’t give in to these feelings of mine,
I shall move on in my life, I shall be fine.