Not The Same

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I have a fascination

As morbid as it seems

With causing myself pain

And hearing my own screams


Feeling so unneeded

So lost in my own pain

That I can’t tell your waiting

Obstacles all are slain


I can’t see you there

Because you treat me right

And it’s so unusual

In my dark a spot of light!


But now I think I’ll listen

Now I think I’ll see

I think I’m going to watch you

And see who you’ll be!

Finding a Talent

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Some day or point in my life,
I decided I was just average,
I decided that I was good at nothing,
I was just meant to go through life,
Take it in, and age.

At some point in time,
I decided that was wrong,
I figured there must be something I could do,
But the process,
Really seemed to take too long.

Somewhere down the line,
I really got into acting,
I enjoy the way it freed me,
In some ways,
That’s not what I was expecting.

In time that has already passed,
I found a joy in writing,
I let myself go and shed my skin on the page,
The way I felt so much calmer,
Had to be better than fighting.

Some day or point in my life,
At some point in time,
Somewhere down the line,
In time that has already passed,
I found a talent that I can call mine.



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I used to be on top.
I used to be the best.
I used to be looked up to,
By others, whom some surely detest.

I used to have it all.
I used to be in a clique.
I used to be like a robot,
Never saying anything that would stick.

I used to be mean.
I used to lie my way through life.
The way I used to be,
Still sometimes cuts through my thoughts like a knife.

Some say I was an Alpha.
Some say I was a b*tch.
But under my “flawless” personality,
You’re sure to find a glitch.

Nothing ever soothed me.
Nothing to my taste.
As I look back, I say:
“That time was such a waste.”

That time when I was on top.
That time when I was the mean one.
That time when I didn’t listen to what others had to say.
I thank to God, that time is over,
And forever done.


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Threatens, yells, swears, and lies

It is all this that I despise

Even though it’s all you do

Even though it isn’t true

I can’t help thinking

And I can’t help sinking..

Can’t stop feeling;

Or I’ll end up kneeling.

To that which I hate the most

That which I’m forbidden to hate

Have to remember the truth when its truthless

I have to endure even though its ruthless

Never forget

Know it isn’t correct

I don’t want to go home to another fight

I don’t wanna stay here ’cause it’s just not right

I wish I could just take flight

And blend into the night..

Just slip away and have a somewhere to go..

Just go somewhere you’ll never know

I can’t ignore that which haunts my dreams

And I can’t ignore that which causes my screams!

End this forever nightmare..