How Do You Fix a Life Gone So Badly Wrong

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I open my eyes
But it’s better they stay closed
For what misery today will bring
I just don’t know

Every day is like the one before
I find I’m more hurt and lost
Than ever before

I can’t remember a time
Where I was happy and smiling
It feels like forever
That inside I’ve been dying

It’s strange
But I’ve got used to it
Being this way
It’s part of my life now
Depressed everyday

I thrive on the sadness
That tears at my heart
I find some sort of comfort in it
This pain that rips me apart

I was once smiling
Once warm
And so care free
Now I look at myself
And say
“What has happened to me?”

What made me this way?
So cold and lost
Were the memories so bad
That I forced them to be forgot

How can I break free?
And leave this behind
I’m tired of being this way all the time

I just want to be held close
But I know I will push everyone away
I’m too scared to let anyone in
Because I know no one will stay

How do you fix a soul
Which has pieces long gone
How do you fix a life
That has gone so badly wrong

How do you save a guy
Who can’t save himself?
How can you hear him
When he silently cries for help?

How do you save me?
When I’ve fallen so far
How can you heal these wounds
Which have turned to scars?

This is who I am
Every day and every night
Sad isn’t it?

May God help me!

They hate me

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My Shadow wants to eat me
My Heart wants to burst
My liver wants to leave me
My eyes Pray that I die
My lungs want to Suffocate me
Everything I am Hates me
what’s wrong with that
My Name Lost itself in my insanity
Im so Nameless I forget
All this Hating
Im losing this civil war
Im losing in this Little life of mine
I pray that it will just Die

Life is deceiving

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You take one quick look and you think you know me
but you don’t
you take a quick look at my page
and you judge me
and you get that right
because it’s my words that’s written on there
but if you were to look at my pictures
you think
and smart
Looks are deceiving
life is ending and your pain is just beginning
of the ending

Match against myself

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Thought this would get better
But it only seems to worsen as the days pass
My happiness has deceased,
I knew it wouldn’t last
The anger has built up inside,
Im ready to break loose
I won’t be able to take much more of this abuse
My body’s twitching, mind gone blank
Im outraged by all the pain that I’ve gone through
I’ve put up afront with nowhere to run to
Eyes as red as blood, mascara down my face
Im gone, discharged from this place
My brain has decomposed from all this mess
Some people just weren’t meant to be happy I guess
I feel like there’s been a match against myself
Im thinking about people, while they’re thinking about wealth
Im the victim at fault for all this hell
Yet, no one’s sensitive to it, they don’t know me that well

Guardian Angels

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I have fallen,
Gone so low.
You pushed me over the edge,
I started falling towards hell,
I could feel the heat of the flames
On my bare flesh.
My screams were drowned out
By the scorching flames.
There was a bright light,
A cool wind from the flapping of wings.
My Guardian Angels had heard my cries,
Felt my pain.
They took me in their arms are carried
Me away, out of Hell,
To be with them in Heaven.