In Deep

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Hearts burning, mind raging and soul on fire
I’m in deep, much to deep!!
Holding my head down low to avoid the stares and glares
I’m in deep, much to deep!!
I hate who I am, hate the person I’m becoming
hate the person I’ll always be.
I’m in deep, much to deep!!
I can’t make you happy, your better off alone
I’m in deep, much to deep!!
I’m not the one for you
I’m depressing, dumb, ugly and stupid
and my life is going down hill
don’t go down it with me
It’s too deep, much too deep!!

Terrifying Thought

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Sometimes I wonder
If death…
If death would be
Better. The sweet,
Sweet release from troubles
Of this world is yet
A depressing thought.
Not for the lack
Of problems; Only
The pain that stalks
Death like a raving
Lunatic keeps me
Sane; wary of Death’s
Silky words, smooth,
Terrible.  Yet she tempts
Time after time.
Here she comes again,
Sensing …

The Strings

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The strings you can’t see
I wear them, I feel them.
Tightening. Tighter.

The self inflicted wounds.
You can’t see.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
The cuts you could never see.
The pain that will never heal.

The laughter is gone.
The world I know upside down.
The strings.. The strings…
I feel them, yet you don’t see.
Tighter. Tighter. Tighter.

I am forever this puppet.
Doing as said.
No matter how much free will I have.
I am forever this puppet.

Battle for pain

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Darkness reigns, and all supreme force,
with the obsidian sand to the west,
and the crippling bear-storms to the east,
the will o’ the wisp Guardians of The Cave to the south,
and the Mass of power only known as, The Brink resigns,
but to this very day, a Lone empty looking figure roams,
with black, soul-less eyes.
Checking all is miserable, it’s life a battle for pain and suicide.
It shall die, only to be awoken, when The Golden one is gone.
With it’s forces, the NameLess figure takes over all.
Only years later it falls, the pain has won,
I seek escape from my own mind as I lie on the cold stone of the morgue,
at last, I am free from Depression.

Cancer of Pain

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Have you ever felt like you were on auto pilot?
Watching from behind your own eyes.
Not feeling or hearing a thing.
Everything purely isn’t from habit and ritual.
You watch as the world passes by you with out compassion.
Screaming loudly but no one hears you.
Muffled by your own pain reaching out silently
for someone to understand and help you cope.
Like throwing a ball in the air and expecting someone to catch,
you fall with no where to land.
Nothing to soften the harsh blow.
The damage is too far gone.
Now Im numb beyond anything I thought possible.
There is no heart that beats in my chest,
it has been replaced with the cancer of pain.
Slowly eating me alive.
Everything carries a darkness,
all roads leading to somewhere depressing and full of pain.
Words bleed from my finger tip trying to find some solitude
in pouring out how I feel.
Some has to ease this pain.