Depressing Poems

A life full of happiness and joy

I am free to live my life

Or am I?

It seems like I can’t make any of my choices

They are always done for me.

My emotions are only limited at a certain

time or length

My life isn’t mine

I’m living someone else’s hell.

Spiritually bond to these walls

I feel like a prisoner….

Day by night and night by day

I am depressed as I ever was

I am no longer the puppet master

I’m the puppet being controlled

but that’s when I wonder if I was ever the puppet master..

The lies of happiness have been twisted and hidden away from me.

Im here living a life that is a lie

This isn’t my life..

This is somebody else hell.

I break this bond and free my self

I am free..free enough to

live my life the way I want to..

I am free

In studio window,

I see a sight…

She shakes and twists to a tune I can’t comprehend.

The rhythm of her motion tells me its a sweet tune

That I and Her could intimate-one step-two step to…

Damn, I love her hair,
that oily mass down her neck…

I am pacing about the window seals,

Drooling over what an Angel!

I am wishing she could slip a dangle about my side…

But,

In the middle of my wishful castles,

A hollow voice…

(what are you drooling at young man? We don’t entertain idlers here about! Understand?!)

I am taken by surprise

Shrinking at the condescending fellow.

My eye meeting his at once.

He wears a grey-black combat and holds a gun.

(He wears a mean face, and I am short, epileptic.)

“Yes, ye, xe, ye, yes sir.”

Taking my leave as I step back step by step.
I didn’t miss the five stars on his collar.

Baby, you didn’t tell me your dad’s gards watch you everywhere…

Or, was that the general?!

I need to know a way I wouldn’t get sent back into the dark closet.
Depression steps out and takes his hand out.
I have to reach it. He convinces me, he says I’m not good enough.
He gives me a ton of reasons for why I should think that. He always win. He says he’s my best friend.
I believe it. Friends support you. Well depression has been with me when I was little.
It made me stronger by giving me experience. Im proud of him.
Its stupid for saying that but its true. He takes over me like a dark cloud coming towards town.
We can’t stop it. He follows me everywhere. You can’t see him but he’s behind my back.
Even he knows he’s dangerous but sometimes he’s nice. He controls me, how i act to people.
Nobody likes it when he’s inside of me. But I’m also smart enough not letting him speak.
He speaks the truth. The truth hurts.
But now, telling everyone about my depression makes me feel relief.
I push depression back into his closet and lock it! I am myself. I don’t need him. I won.
I hope he doesn’t break the door but for now
.. Im free :)

Im honestly just a guy.

as much as said that I’m different and special, i swear to god I’m really not.

when i tell u that i love you, and i miss you…my heart skips, my breath stops and my stomach feels light.

its because I’m lying..so when i said i love you, all those things happen because, my heart stops beating. My Lungs stop Breathing, and my stomach wants to throw it all up.

i can’t love, I’m incapable, without you, i can live forever, ur just there for the title. girlsfriend, wtf????

This fairy tale of finding the right one is like saying Santa was the one who left the lights on. thats kid stuff..

no heres where it gets complicated…what i can offer you is never ending tears, long days of fighting, rough nights of arguing, headaches, heartbreaks and everything else.

im not meant for that lifestyle but for some reason i still pretend like i want to be happy..

im a f*ckhead, and my point in life is to f*ck up everything good that comes my way, friends family, relationships and opportunities.

day by day i become more n more aware of that, day by day i become more n more used to it..

the idea of f*cking up on a daily basis and blaming no one but myself…no excuses no lies, or fake stories to make up…

now get this contradiction…

if what i am saying is true, then for me to be happy, i have to deal with the fact that i have to be unhappy.

hmm, there goes my life.