How could you do this to me?
How could you leave me like this?
Sad and dying inside.
I feel like Im rotting away inside.
Little dead pieces of me fall off as I fade away slowly,
drowning in depression.
My heart stopped beating when you stopped talking.
My mind focused, like a starving dog staring at a piece of meat,
waiting for some glimpse you might care.
But you never call.
Even the air freezes around me in discontent and sadness.
A feeling of empty, a feeling of grief and sorrow.
My stomach aches with knots of confusion
and head fills with clouds of misunderstanding.
Boxes of information opened and poured out without hope of solution.
Fingers of blame thrown in the air
and words of anger fill the ears of a negativity drowned victim.
Falling into pieces that can’t be glued.
Beyond hopeless, suicidal and filled with doubt of life’s meanings.
You left me here like this.
Not giving me the time of day filling your self up,
like a glutton, with selfishness.
Warped sense of mind.
How can you separate yourself like that?
How can you go on with you smiles and laughter
when you left me to lie here.
My chest open heart barley beating.
You never turned around once.
Now Im bleeding out,
my lifeline fading as I drown in my own tears.
After all we have been through,
after all I have done and sacrificed in the name of our love.
If all your time was wasted and all you love has died.
Then what was this?
Who the hell was I?
but after all we have been through,
obstacles leaped over,
tears that have been cried.
You left me here alone,
left my heart broken like a shattered mirror
reflecting pieces of what used to be me.
now i lie here slowly dying, loosing all that once was
and everything that will never be.

Have you ever felt like you were on auto pilot?
Watching from behind your own eyes.
Not feeling or hearing a thing.
Everything purely isn’t from habit and ritual.
You watch as the world passes by you with out compassion.
Screaming loudly but no one hears you.
Muffled by your own pain reaching out silently
for someone to understand and help you cope.
Like throwing a ball in the air and expecting someone to catch,
you fall with no where to land.
Nothing to soften the harsh blow.
The damage is too far gone.
Now Im numb beyond anything I thought possible.
There is no heart that beats in my chest,
it has been replaced with the cancer of pain.
Slowly eating me alive.
Everything carries a darkness,
all roads leading to somewhere depressing and full of pain.
Words bleed from my finger tip trying to find some solitude
in pouring out how I feel.
Some has to ease this pain.

Im sick of guys treating me like shit
I think Im going to be happy ALONE
But Im stuck in this world I call reality
Everything has gone wrong for me
So Im giving up, on love, on happiness, and on everything
When you see me smile it won’t be real
it will seem like in the happiest person in the world,
that everything is alright,
But inside Im dying, my heart is crying, and it’s broken in million pieces…
I love, being in love, but I just don’t think that will happen again
Im not a depressed person
But I can’t hold it in anymore
Im done loving people! I give up! YOU WIN!!!

If you must burry me
burry me now
burry me today
my dreams are fading
My hopes disappearing
and im scared of living
im done faking
throwing smiles your way
im done laughing
get out of my way
I want to find my grave
im dead already don’t you see
this body is useless to me
my grave, my body and my head must be found
they have to be burried underground
today, tonight, right now
if you must burry me I wish that
you would have done it
by now

I cannot take this..
I cannot take this hate,
guilt,
heartache,
and pain.
I want to show everyone,
who Im
and what I feel.

Instead
I put this face on
that isn’t real.
I cry alone
and I want to die alone.
I feel so much hate
almost everyday.

You don’t ask..
you don’t care.
And I want someone..
anyone
to ask me..
if I need help.

I cannot take that
heartache
that he left me with.
I can still
feel his
soft lips.
Why do you leave?
I will change..i promise.

I cannot do this..
I cannot lie,
cry,
and suffer.
I cannot no more…

Marks on the inside
make it even with the out.
I will show you tough love
and what it’s all about.
I might as well bleed here
with you & a razor in your hand
I don’t feel alive anymore,
& I don’t know where I stand.
press the blade against my skin,
hit an unpleasant violet red
soon it will be too late
I will already be dead.
thank you for never noticing
when I walk in, sleeves of blood
. And for never realizing
it wasn’t just an accidental cut.
please don’t shed a tear for me
when im drowning in a crimson pool.
but even with the razor, so sharp,
the world is much more cruel.

Im tired of always putting on a show
to hide the pain inside
to pretend nothing bothers me
when deep inside its at its boiling
Im sick of not having a true friend
Someone who understands
Sick of everything and everbody
Everything adds up over time
Making me angry and bitter
Sometimes I don’t understand
Why I feel this way
I don’t guess I ever will
Writings on the wall
That your too blind to see
Just open your eyes
Now look at me
What do you see?
Sometimes I want to cry
Sometimes I want to scream
I cannot, you wont understand
Im trying to remove a weight of my shoulders

Surrounded by unknowns,
They cannot see my face.
Beneath my covers,
I hide my inner secrets.
No one knows who Im,
I do not wish to reveal it.
The true self which lies within,
Can never face the world.
For I have so much to hide,
And so little trust in you.

Thought this would get better
But it only seems to worsen as the days pass
My happiness has deceased,
I knew it wouldn’t last
The anger has built up inside,
Im ready to break loose
I won’t be able to take much more of this abuse
My body’s twitching, mind gone blank
Im outraged by all the pain that I’ve gone through
I’ve put up afront with nowhere to run to
Eyes as red as blood, mascara down my face
Im gone, discharged from this place
My brain has decomposed from all this mess
Some people just weren’t meant to be happy I guess
I feel like there’s been a match against myself
Im thinking about people, while they’re thinking about wealth
Im the victim at fault for all this hell
Yet, no one’s sensitive to it, they don’t know me that well

I have fallen,
Gone so low.
You pushed me over the edge,
I started falling towards hell,
I could feel the heat of the flames
On my bare flesh.
My screams were drowned out
By the scorching flames.
There was a bright light,
A cool wind from the flapping of wings.
My Guardian Angels had heard my cries,
Felt my pain.
They took me in their arms are carried
Me away, out of Hell,
To be with them in Heaven.
Forever.