Hidden Pain

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Hidden Pain
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Hiding behind the shadow of the blackest of your clothes
Thinking so deep
You get lost
In your own thought
The thought of tender pain eased by the blood oozing out
You can not handle the pain inside
It drives you crazy
It hurts so deep
So much
And they don’t understand
Lost in thought zoning out on the world
Looking at the blade
The blood
Satisfaction at last  
A little happiness
It feels so good
But then you feel the pain in your heart
Once again and THAT MOMENT IS GONE

The girl you have always wanted

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The girl you have always wanted
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The girl you’ve always wanted is the girl I try to be
I mold and shape and pray and wish, but that’s just not me
I try to forgive and be loving, but it’s just so hard
you say it shouldn’t be a challenge, but I, you see, am emotionally scarred
i’ve seen the lies and cries and hurt you always let him put you through
so I, myself, am not so sure that I should be like you
I have this wall built up so high that I can no longer look around
im swimming in a sea of emotion and I think that I might drown
I need someone to pull me back in
I need someone to be my friend
i’ll simply never be the girl that you see in your mind
but I am always going to be myself, one of a kind
I apologize for the embarrassments you’ll face
but I finally feel like a competitor in this race

My Lil Toy Gun

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My Lil Toy Gun
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I saw you, I liked you, then I fell in love with you,
this is how it started,
I thought you were perfect, and i’ll have no regrets,
I didn’t expect that you didn’t have any respect,
and I won’t accept a guy like you, who put me through,
pain and misery,
this is how it ought to be,
I loved you, now I don’t,
I trusted you, now I have doubts
you hurt me, I waited so Patiently.
you made me cry, but I had to fight,
the tears inside that I hide, and that wasn’t right,
now i’m bright, shining like a sun,
cuz I killed you with my little toy gun,
now you’re gone, i’m done,
and I must say, I had lots of fun

I want you back

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I want you back
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Blues skies turn to gray,
all my wishes gone away,
you’re with her & Im alone,
wishing that you will pick up the phone,
all my messages you ignore, not a hey when I walk by,
no more flowers, cards, & gifts
you forgot completely about me,
& it hurts so much to know that Im in love with you again,
but can’t face my real feelings when you look me in the eyes,
& I wish I had told you from a start, how I really felt inside,
but now it’s too late to see what I could’ve done or what I should’ve done,
’cause you’re with her, while I need you
& you can’t see how much I wish you were here with me

You will always be in my <3

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You will always be in my <3
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you left me without even saying goodbye,
you hurt me when I thought everything was going right,
the angels took you away from me
but I promise you will always be,
the one  that I won’t forget,
the one I bother less,
the one that scared me to death,
the one that told me stories before going to bed,
the one that taught me from right to wrong,
the  one that left me all alone,
the one I hear when am asleep
the one I wish will be here with me,
the one I loved with all my heart &
if i’ll have just one wish i’ll ask for you to be with me
because without you here right now
it’s like am in a nightmare &
am trying to get out, to take out all this pain
because since you passed away I can’t deal with this no more
I can’t believe that god took you away from me when I needed you the most,
you left like the wind & never return when you said to me i’ll be back to you,
you left me wondering why were you gone so quick,
& why did god take you away from me ?
was it something I did, was it something I said,
or was it time for you to go away from life
but never forget that you will be with me until the end of time
I will always have a space for you in my heart.