My happiness is bright.
My sadness is blue.
Sometimes I get confused
And I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know when to smile.
I don’t know when to cry.
I don’t know when to grin.
I don’t know when to sigh.
The world is filled with questions.
And so is my mind.
Don’t think this will be easy.
The answers are hard to find.
Moving away from any kind of rhymes
I’m just going to let the pen do its job
I’ll just going to let my hands write
Everything that I might feel towards you
With a great exhale I start to write
The idea of writing what sounds like a letter
Makes my hands move as if they were in air
Freely filling out this piece of paper
The pen has lost its weight as well
Nothing is left to feel but the blood
Moving from my heart to my brain
Ordering my hands to draw these words
Carefully delivering them I do with pleasure
Nothing to think about
Nothing to care about but you
I may sound contradicting myself
But what can I do?
I always had that feeling of being in control
That feeling of being strong and indestructible
It had always worked out in a way or another
I always controlled my drinking’s behavior
In addition to that addiction known as smoking
I always succeeded in directing my thoughts in or out
Right or left is what I could always manage to know
But out of nowhere I gave those days a rest in peace salute
Days and nights became the same void and empty
Right and wrong seemed to have the same outcomes
All I can control now is the time I talk to you
All I can feel now is being vulnerable and week
I used to run from drinks and cigarettes
Now I run to them to forget how I’m addicted to you
That nowhere I guess is called destiny
I’m not much of a believer
But that’s what brought you into my life
Music is a good thing to enjoy more often by people
But I guess this doesn’t apply to me anymore
The only music I can tell to enjoy is far from reality
All lyrics brings you to my thoughts without permission
So I always seek for what I can never understand
Every single movie I watch makes me think again and again
What if you and I were living that lovely story?
That appears to just broke my dam of tears
The same as writing these words lead me to
But the pen just keeps on rolling and rolling
This notebook never seems to be enough for my words
It can’t be a coincident that you bought me this notebook
Sometimes I feel like you meant to bring me such a gift
Maybe I’m wrong maybe I’m right again they seem the same
What a sarcasm to feel that whenever I seem to run from you
I can’t but finding that you’re the first person I run to
I’ll have to stop my pen on the idea that friendship is love’s alibi
I guess that the best words I’d ever written with courage
It sounds loud and clear and maybe bold in a way or another
But that’s reality you’re my friend and my best friend
Making things the worst they can sound to an ear but I love you
I’m tired to trying to change that fact but my love is out of my control..
I’ve traveled the same road
as far as I can remember.
The same twist and turns, as
my world collides.
Feeling the sun burning my pale skin,
the wind as it whistles in my ear
a sweet harmony as my feet
drag me along the broken road.
Feeling the heat and hearing
the sweet harmony I stand here
where the two roads meet of love and hate.
I stand here thinking about what I need..
I need love and I can’t live without hate
so I choose the road in-between.
As I walk this barren world I challenge
fate as I walk the road of both love and hate
What’s wrong with me?
I’m stuck in this desolate wasteland
Praying it to be my last breath
I can’t hold on
My hands are slipping
My tears have fallen
No faith in me can change what I’ve become
I crave the way you hold me tight
I need the rush of pills
My blood is my addiction
And there’s tears on all the windowsills
You promised not to leave me
And since I won’t let you go
Then I guess you’re stuck with me
Just thought I’d let you know
When I run out of pills
My body shakes and quivers
It sends me into desperation
And gives my friends the shivers
And all of this becomes too much
Can’t cry, just cut and bleed
My skin is numb; my blades are dull
What is it that YOU need?
I’ll tell you that I’m fine
That I just need a hug
But my wrists are bleeding
And I’m searching for a drug
Cuts and pills and you
Are all my body needs
I’ll stay this way forever
Unless OD succeeds