Count on God

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I used to think the only
Person I could count on
Was me, myself
Learn to be strong
To weather the storm, alone

But I’m not alone
I have never been alone
God is always with me
Guiding me, holding my hand
His loving arms around me
Giving me his strength

He wants me to be happy
To love life
Live it to the fullest
To find love again
A good healthy love
With a good, healthy man
Who loves and respects me

I trust God to send me
My Love
I trust him with my heart
My soul, my life

Is This a Pointless Dream

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Is this a pointless dream
Are you over me
Do you think you are
Too old to start a relationship
With me now

Is there any hope
In dreaming of a life with you
Am I too late
Have you moved on

If I send you that letter
Will you respond
Or will you throw it away

Could you be interested in me now
I don’t look the same
I’m older, heavier
You could be too
But some how I don’t
Think you are

I remember your sexy lower lip
I wanted to suck on it
Your bedroom eyes
Heavy lidded like you
We’re thinking about
What you would like to
Do to me in the bedroom

You were tall nearly 6 ft
Brown eyes, starting to bald
But that’s ok with those
Eyes no hair would be sexy
Those lips, made for kissing

You would be nearly 60 yrs
By now would you even
Want a relationship now

I screwed up with you
I wanted hot, passionate
Romance, I wanted someone
To take me in his arms
And kiss me senseless
Someone who would talk to me
Bring me out of my shell

You were quiet, shy
Sweet, patient, respectful
Never held my hand
Or put an arm around me
I thought you were not
Interested in me
I waited and waited
For you to make a move
But nothing…..
I wanted you to do something
Anything to show your interest
I started to feel unattractive
Undesirable, unwanted
So I ended things

I met a man that was not shy
Not respectful, not sweet
Not patient he held my hand
Put his arm around me
Sucked me into thinking
He loved me
Abused me for most of our marriage

Now that things are ending
I’m thinking of you and how
You treated me back then
And how stupid I was in letting
You go……..
But had I not gone thru
What I have gone thru
I would not be the person
I am today

I am stronger, more confident
More outgoing, compassionate
Tolerant, understanding
Passionate, loving
I have so much love in my heart
To give and no one to give it to

I was not this person
When you knew me
I know what I want
And pray to God
He will let me have it
I want you
I want a life, what ever is left of it
With someone who is
Kind, patient, respectful
Sweet, loving
I will get you to talk to me
I will kiss you until
You lose control
I will love you
And make you feel special
For the rest of your life

For So Long I Struggled

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For so long I struggled
To save my marriage
But to no avail
My marriage was doomed
From the start

He swept me off my feet
My head was in the clouds
I did not see how self-centered
He was, narcissistic
Abusive emotionally, verbally
He said I was a horrible
Wife, stepmother, daughter
In-law, I believed him
For 12 years I believed him

I finally went to see a councilor
To fix me
She helped me to realize
I was fine, he was abusive
Controlling, spiteful
That threatening me with divorce at
Every opportunity was a way
To control me and get what
He wanted
As long as he got his way
He was happy

Well he has threatened
Divorce again…
Now I’m ready
He will get NO warning
Just divorce papers in
The mail
I’m DONE
I would rather live alone
Than be married to him
Any longer!!

I want my FREEDOM!

One Chapter is Over

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One chapter is over
It should have been
Over a long time ago
The abuse, the neglect
What did I ever see in him
He is so cold
Unfeeling, callous
He thinks only of himself
What he wants
What is good for him
No one else

It is time to go
Leave this prison
Spread my wings
And fly far from here

Time for the new chapter
To begin
New people, new places
New love….
An adventure
The possibilities are endless

Look up old loves
For new beginnings
Second chances
I’m a different person, now
I want a person who loves me
Respects me
Someone who still thinks of me
30 years later
What love that must be

I want that love
I need that love
I will find that love
I will love that man
I will give that man the best
Rest of his life
If he will just love me

I Think of You Often

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I Think of You Often
5 (100%) 1 vote

I think of you often
What would life
Have been like with you
If we were together

If you had just
Talked to me
Showed interest in me
Held my hand
Looked into my eyes
Put your arm around my shoulders

Took me in your arms
Kissed me
Your lips on mine
Searing down my neck
Your hands blazing
A path down my back
Cradling me against your body

Opening me to you
With gentle hands
Cupping me
Fill me up
Till I explode
Liquid lightening

But you didn’t
You were quiet
Shy, so was I
For 2 months
We went out
But never really got to
Know each other

If I were different then
If you were different then
I should have tried harder
I wish I had been different, then
I am different, now
Are you?
Are you still interested
I’m scared to find out
What if you don’t live
Up to what is in my head
What if you take one look at me
And say…I dodged a bullet on that one

I so want you to be the man in my head
To have the life, in my head
That I dream of with you
But I’m scared, the dream is safe
Reality isn’t

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