Love is Lonely

I stand by the mirror to look inside
puzzled seems the scene
painted within the mirror
as if I’ve lived my entire life
falling into your world of lies
shattered seems the mirror
standing before my eyes
anyway mirrors never lie
face up the truth try not to hide

It wouldn’t matter if you crawl back to sanity
It wouldn’t matter if you’ll righteously behave
Winds had already blew off your dusty reality
What we had is dead already resting in a grave
For years you’ve been seizing the best of me
Now it’s time to uncuff my heart and set it free

I remember when we swore we had it all
a vow I thought would never ever fall
you were for me the one and only
never the one to make me so empty
I remember when we went to neverland
a path of stars we walked hand in hand
you were for me the best companion
never the one to leave alone in the canyon
I remember now when you got my heart stolen
and will always remember how you got it broken
you were for me the one to belong
but now the one who made me wrong

I don’t want to feel anything beyond today
pack up all of your memories and walk away
would you stop acting all innocent?
stop asking what you’ve done
by the sun of tomorrow’s dawn
you shall be already too far gone
hurry up don’t waste your tears
telling me that into your deep
you’re sorry can’t fall asleep
start taking your anti-depressant
it’s time to face a cruel world of fears

I know it’s not that too easy to erase
what you and I shared back in the days
but you’ve got to walk in the boots of misery
we had what we had and now it’s called history
I’ll take a look at the mirror as you leave
I bet you it would no longer feel the grieve
the mirror knew what your plans were up to
far too early than I could ever do

leave and enjoy life with your bittersweet lies
spit them out like the rain falling from skies
stand for the world without me
since with your lies I can’t be
try to enjoy life with your tearful eyes
trap them inside cause no one can see
the truth when it’s covered with lies

I’ve turned off the last standing candle
there’s nothing left in here but darkness
nothing at all not even your ominous shadow
the scene gets charming without any shallow…

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I could see the fears in her eyes
The tears that she cried
The man that broke her heart
The abuser of the night
The pain she goes through
The broken mirrors
The guy that loves her
But she doesn’t need him
The loser of the day
The one who just turned gay
The scars on her face
The blood on her hands
The bruises on her arms
Yeah I know
Am there tonight
Broken glass, broken window
Each new night a new criminal
Rapes her, abuses, and leaves her with some bruises
No one to help her
Stuck in her own world
No chances
No love
Just alcohol she loves
Drunk, dizzy, sleepy, depressed
This is what she is – a mess
No success
No diploma
Just a job
Doesn’t earn no money
Feeling down
Trying to change
But her life is in his hands.

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Destroy my pain, and set me free

Stab my heart, and let the sorrow spill

Cleanse my soul, and let the darkness disappear

Heal my heartaches, and stitch it up, so the joy can stay

Capture the light and heal my body from

All the darkness that lingers inside of me

Capture the joy and heal my mind from

All the paining images of my past

Capture the happiness

And make me pure

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The Lie is unspoken

The truth is a lie

Every lie you told was a lie to me

Every heart you have broken

Eventually leads to sorrow.

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Red blood leaks from his heart

Red tears stain his cheeks

Roses of his heart lie beneath him

A thousand words leak from her

She begs him

He turns away

Hurt

Broken

What more could he think of her?

Shame on her heart

He would give up anything and everything for her

She threw it all away…

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You broke my heart so many times,

each time you did my heart breaks, and breaks,

until there is nothing left,

would I not love, not care, feel no pain, but I do know something,

I’m heartless.

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It hit me…HARD,
I didn’t want to deal with it,
I wanted everything back to the way it was before,
The heartbreak was KILLING me,
I imagined myself writing a letter to him,
I imagined sealing the letter in an envelope,
Writing his name across it in fancy letters.
With “I’m Sorry” written underneath,
I imagined kissing that letter one last time,
Placing it on the desk in front Of the TV,
I imagined picking up the pistol,
Loading it with the bullet,
I had previously carved his name into,
I would then record on video,
Saying my last ever words which would go something like this:
“I love you,
with everything I have,
With every single thing I had. Remember when you said we were too young to fall in love?
I think you were talking about yourself. I think that you were the one,
that wasn’t and isn’t ready for love.
No one’s too young for love,
At least if that’s what you’ve been wishing for,
Your whole life, like me.
I didn’t know how to act in a relationship,
But I do know one thing,
I’d do anything for you,
Even now.
This is the reason why,
I’m doing this,
I can’t take this heartbreak and depression,
I’ve been feeling without you.
I can’t take loving you this much,
Without being by your side.
I refuse to keep missing you
Not like this,
It hurts too much,
I have tried to get over you,
Tried my best to think,
No, I don’t care about you.
Done my best to try,
Not LOVE you so damn much!
But all in vain,
My memory is too vivid,
I still have every single,
Damn memory of us stuck in my heart, In my head,
They won’t leave,
A constant reminder of what WAS,
I just can’t deal with this anymore, I’m saying good-bye,
I’m so so sorry for still loving you,
While you didn’t feel the same.”
I imagined myself taking the gun, Putting it to my broken heart,
And hearing two last sounds…
“Click, boom”
I didn’t want to imagine what would happen,
After I was found,
The only thing I did think,
Maybe…just maybe,
He’d realize a little too late,
That he loved me,
And regret,
Breaking my heart.

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