Devil in my mind, motherhood in my heart.

Your name I had already chose…

Rage is what I feel at moment

I failed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I am repeating I failed!!!!!!!!!

Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me.

Making my heart a better place, trying to smile more often

Those are just a disguise, a mask that I hide under

In you, I’m still tangled up

I dreamed about your first smile, your first word…

My joy, you were supposed to be, between all these sorrows and heartaches

But I didn’t know how to stand up for you

Am I cursed for being too weak at times?

I missed out on you!!!!!!!!

My unborn child

How would you look?

Would you have your mommy’s full lips?

or your daddy’s large smile?

All are mysteries now…

I wish I had the strength

The power of forgetting and letting go…

but hey I guess I have to live with it

And feel lucky that I am still breathing…

Courage I still need…

dignity I am still fighting for…

but I will find my way…

If I am lucky enough my way I will definitely find…