Lost in tears

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Is it weird to feel

As if i’ve lost my mind?

And is it odd not to know

About everything I find?

Everyday I feel more wrong

Everything moves and shifts

Like I don’t really fit

It’s like I don’t belong.

Can anyone tell me

Does anyone see

How I’m messing up

Or even what’s becoming of me?

The more I think

The more it seems

Like somethings really right

But then I see

And then I know

The true messed up sight

It’s hard to know

Just whats real

If I’m crazy or not

Even though nothing else

Is like the peace i’ve sought!

I can’t stop feeling

I’ll end up kneeling

To what I hate the most

To what I’m forbidden to hate

I have to remember the truth when it’s truthless

I have to endure when things get ruthless..

Velvet tangled intertwine

That at least must be a sign?

I’m alone when I least expect to be

I look around and there’s nothing to see

I try to escape but I’m locked in

I’m trapped in the confines of sin

I listen but there’s nothing to hear

I try but there’s no one near!

I listen again and the pain sets

The realization that I paid my debts..

The payment was the thing I valued most

I give up searching from coast to coast

I finally see the signs

That my mind has deserted me.

With all the pain that I’ve been through

It makes me wonder just who knew

The secrets I died to keep inside

The things I tried so hard to hide..

I wish to live my life in ways

That don’t leave me lost in tears..

I need to find my peace in days

That sensitize my fears!

Forever trapped I seem to be

In these twisting forms of  me

Everything changing but never lost

Is this what comes before the cost?

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