Behind A Wall

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When looking through my book of life, I can really understand…the reasons many things went wrong, all came to me first-hand.

It started at the age of 9, at a time my eyes were very blind…my Mom & Dad had lots of friends, and around the house were “odds & ends”.

Many smells & wonders I often had, but father told me to not be bad…just go upstairs & watch t.v., that’s how I became so plumpy.

As the years went by, Mom started to change, all in front of my eyes…things fell apart & money was tight, then Dad started the lies.

As time went on, I made it through school, to me this was alright…Dad drove me there and fed me bad food, to make me feel alright.

Mom wasn’t here, but someone was…to be so young & really dumb…Dad sat with her on his lap, this felt to me like a booby-trap!

This is NOT Mom, Dad doesn’t pretend…just let her go, don’t comprehend…Stop playin’ “tricks”, Moms coming home, there’re many secrets, stories un-told.

When Mom found out, it cut her so deep…pain so embarrassing she felt dirt-cheap…to hide Mom’s pain, was an awful sin…I watched & learned how to binge.

My life was hard, ice ran through my veins…I carried the weight and continued to gain.

Never loving myself & often closing my eyes…I covered my pain to no-one’s surprise.

There is no-one I trust, I often feel cold…Many have turned their backs, except 1 great soul.

We called her “Ma-Goo”, she charmed us with cheer…she hung with us, while her Dad drank beer.

We grew so close, BEST friends till the end…our bond was MAD tight, can you comprehend?

The next few years were filled with tears, constant emotion between frequent prayers.

Mom fell into deep-sleep, & I missed her aroma…what took my Mom was an angry, dark coma.

5 weeks of crying, so fearfully alone…Mom started to breathe, all on her own.

The damage was clear, no way around it…her mind was lost & felt all criss-crossed.

Since Mom was so sick, Dad was my only role model…I’m just like him, just a tiny re-model!

I trusted my Dad, with all of my heart…all through my life, we will never depart.

Dad soon overtime smoked packs through the days…every now & then he dapped in some Haze.

Ignoring the signs, Dad was becoming discreet…this made his symptoms greatly increase.

It was taking him fast, he tried to pretend…however all signs led to one-end.

Gone in 3 months, could I’ve noticed sooner?…these questions in mind, I’m NOT a tuner!

Now that he’s gone, Moms all I’ve got…This weights got-to-go…what a long shot!

9-12-2006, my stomach began to intermix…they cut it away, here’s my new life…this was all done with a clhtml-knife.

5 years have went by & I’m a brand new person…my life will no longer begin to worsen.

As promised to Dad to always stay strong, he also promised we’d get along…we’re now BEST friends & GREAT lovers…to soon realize we’d discover each other!

I love you, Vasc…please never forget, this is something you’ll never regret! I’ll be there for you, with promise & truth, you will someday be an Italian Vermouth!

With all my heart, my Father will never part…& in my heart, he will only re-start! I hold in my mind sweet thoughts of you…I’ll mix that with a little “Ju”…looks like that promise will truly come true!
Dad….no-one will EVER compare to you!

******Dad, Mom & I miss you greatly, & we’ll always love you…you’re always in my heart!
—–love your daughter, Dawn

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