Alone by myself

Alone,
By myself.
With no one to talk to,
With no one to share my troubles with.

In a crowded room,
In a crowded group.
Always alone in the corner,
Always alone at the back.

With all of them in pairs
With all of them hand in hand.
With happiness written on their faces,
With joy emitting from them.

While I am here with no one,
While I am here without smiles.
My heart is full of emptiness,
My heart is full of coldness.


Can you help me?
Can you heal my heart?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you know the taste of being alone?

- Wanji Bunji

Long For

Sittin alone,
In artificial light,
Tryin to make it,
Through one last night.

A mix of emotions,
A heart full of woe,
Wondering where,
All this will go.

I felt it was right,
From the very first day,
But in just one second,
That was taken away.

I'm left here alone,
In fear and in pain,
Hoping the chance,
Will come back again.

I feel as though,
I've been taken apart,
Pieced back in the wrong sequence,
Missing half of my heart.

Sitting here blindly,
In search of my mind,
But the harder I look,
The less I can find.

What once came naturally,
Was cruelly taken away,
I've lost all trace of colour,
The world is now grey.

In seconds I fell,
From positive thoughts,
The creative talent,
That this one being brought.

But being out of my life,
Has left me so bare,
I have lost inspiration,
I'm left in confused despair.

I'm in my bed,
I toss and turn,
My eyes are red,
They're sore, they burn.

The same thoughts,
Run through my mind,
Of someone who,
Is warm and kind.

I feel him slide,
His hand in mine,
And remember when,
We met first time.

Now that's over,
I'm here alone,
Paranoia,
What have I done?

I'm all alone, I've lost my smile,
Wishing you had stayed a while,
Instead you ignore me when you like,
And fill my head with all your shit.

I'm over you, I'm out of love,
I'm lying here, I've had enough,
It's been a while, but I'm okay,
I take life as it comes each day.

But when I feel I've let you go,
You tell me that you've missed me so,
And once again I'm in your trap,
Even though you don't want me back.

So now I'm hooked just as before,
I lie here alone upon my floor,
Thinking of nothing else but you,
Adoration that's so confused.

I think I'm okay, and that life will go on,
But each night it's the same when I'm alone,
You say you care, and I believe each word,
But now I'm telling myself I've had enough.

I'm living in the past, life was better then,
I need you, we're supposed to be friends,
But each day you say you don't have the time,
Is when I realize that I have been blind.

You think you care about me, but this is a lie,
You try to be nice, and I always ask why,
This is not what you want, deep down inside,
And it's me that gets hurt every single time.

So leave me alone, I need time to myself,
In times of need, it was you that helped,
But you've hurt me now, and things will change,
Right now, I don't want to hear your name.

Everything you say, seems genuine to me,
But I'm hooked on you, it's easy to see.
I wish things were simple like the start,
but you messed me about, And broke my heart.

I know I will forgive you, and be okay in time,
I never fully believed you'd ever be mine,
But I'm still feeling this everyday,
Wishing things hadn't gone this way.

I need time alone, so I can move on,
And accept the fact, that I'm not the one,
So leave me to grieve at my own accord,
I don't want to hear from you. Not one word.

As tiredness dries up these heavy eyes,
I sit alone but I can't cry
The night is still and house is quiet,
I feel aggressive, my head's a riot.

My music plays too soft to hear,
MY happy thoughts just disappear,
I sit alone, I feel the cold,
I long for the past, I'm getting old.

I tap the keys, they echo loud,
I'm tryin so hard to make no sound,
But everyone's asleep, they cannot hear.
They do not know that I'm here.

The silence carries through the night,
The darkness blinds my only sight,
I sitting here wishing for the day,
To take the pain and suffering away.

I'm moving on, I'm starting again,
I'm not sure, if we should be friends.

I look at him, and see the past,
Wishing time would move on fast.

But blocking him out seems extreme,
And I'm not convinced it would help me.

I need to think this over, but it's a mess,
I'm still being in love. I confess.

Lies, deception, and more and more lies,
Or was it all just a painful disguise?
He loves me, but can't seem to work it out.
I question him to relieve my doubt.

But every single comment fogs my mind,
I remember him being warm and kind,
His answers are as confused as me,
The truth is something I will never see.

Wishing for clarity, and a little light,
To help me through each sleepless night,
I always believed he was the one for me,
But obviously that's not how it'll be.

- Sara

Before Old

Tryna Fake it
till I make it
standin here to make a show
to define you
and to study
just as far as you can go

do you seize me
how I like it
I'm so difficult
to read
like some paper
or a booklet
or a napkin
with a theme

here I'm standin
starin at you
lookin at you crossed the room
moppin floors
and changin pictures
if i kiss you
I will be doomed
won't this happen
or i show it
i regret
all my mistakes
wanna study
wanna get it
just before
its just too late

now you're leaving
I'm not leaving
starin at you as
you leave
one more shot
i don't have shots
so now I stand here
watch me bleed
cause i need you
wanna meet you
wanna know you
wanna hold
wanna stock you
wanna mock you
just before i get too old


now I'm washing all the
dishes
cleaning houses
cookin stoves
wish i moved
in your direction
now I got another load
much too laundry
much too cleaning
much too late to try again
when I see you
you'll be taken
so i guess
me
you
just friends

I will harass you
and embrace
you still
I'm slick I will get away
what I do
it might just harm you
i am
sure I will get away

I am charming
I am evil
you know me
i don't make sense
watch me
dancing
beneath roses
when I walk
behind your fence

yeah you see me
all around you
like a mellow
to a stove
why i tease you
with my clarence
now its me
and you alone

Am i crazy
you don't get it
what my poets
don't make sense
my names
ebony
mcmillan
I'm Highmaintenance
and intense

so define me
and come seize me
study lift
and over all
watch my safety tips
and safety net
cause one day I will fall

- Ebony Mcmillan

Alone

Alone in the city
Alone in the world
And Alone in her mind
With no one around
She screams soundlessly
~Nameless

- Jackie Hergh

Three Mothers

That day, two people died.
No she was alone in the car.
(Thank God for that, some said)
But a tiny life vaporized
Far, far away.
Sniffles, tears, mourns, sighs,
Man in the hall
Baby in the bedroom.
The maid rocks and strokes,
The baby knows better.
“Oh, she’s dead! The love of my life!
Twenty years I have loved her! Twenty!”

A week later, she moved in.
Prettier than the first, the baby thought.
Reds, pinks, oranges flutter about
A touch of lipstick, a dab of rouge
We have a party to attend, after all,
(There’s always a party)
And you’re not invited!
Wails go unheeded
Feminine tantrums pampered.
Diapers everywhere
What’s the maid for, after all?
All alone at night?
You know I’m scared of the dark.
What happened to the occasional cuddles?
The tickles, the giggles, the tucking in?
A separate room?
Privacy?
(What’s that?)
Whims are adored,
Milk bottles ignored
(It was only an inch away)
The maid’s here overtime
At least she smiles
I thought he liked me…
I could be wrong.
He seems happier
But I miss the first smiles,
The first park totters
The first family videos-the laughs, the love
I want to be a part,
The toys are cute,
They’re still not you.

Arguments erupt,
Fights pick up,
He screams, she screams,
There’s banging and clanging.
There’s more fluttering-scarves, skirts, photo-frames,
A swish of black, a begging follower
The door slams
Cries, screams, pleadings
(No! No! Don’t go!)

He bursts in
(It’s nice to see him again)
It’s all because of you!
You won’t stop crying, wailing.
Why don’t you shut up?
See what you’ve done!
Now another’s gone.
Guilty hugs, fake apologies ensue,
Reminiscences of old.
(Where were you all this time?)

The maid was early
(The baby glad)
But she stood perplexed in the hall
Don’t leave me, too!
She blushes and tugs at her plait
Man smiles
(Relieved)
She trots into my room
And my six month old hazels
Beheld my third mother.

- Suchaita Tenneti

Sorry mum

I sat alone today
I started thinking of you,
How you were always honest
& how I was never true.

Shame soon came over me
I felt so bad & hurt inside,
I was heartless and worthless
I can still hear your cries.

I can’t apologize enough
For the way I used to be,
I was addicted to the Devil
Mum I promise I'm really sorry...

- K C

All Alone

I don't understand,
I don't know why,
why you did this to me,
why you wanted to die.
I can't understand,
cuz it hurts like hell,
to think you felt so terrible,
and couldn't even tell.
I won't understand,
it was just so wrong,
you didn't have to leave me,
as though you don't belong.
now I feel so empty,
and everywhere I turn,
there's always something missing,
for you I always yearn.
and it hurts me very much,
that you didn't say goodbye,
just left one day without me,
left me all alone to cry.
I don't understand,
why you felt things were that bad,
that you just gave up everything,
you ever knew or had.
Im sorry I didn't know,
Im sorry I wasn't there,
now I'm here all alone,
you left, it's just not fair.
I can't understand,
how could you die,
when I needed you so much,
in return, you left me to cry.
I will never understand,
why you took your life away,
I will never make it without you,
it will never be ok..............

- Kathryn Chandler

Unrequited Love

I gaze at you from afar
Wishing I was her
the pretty girl you cherish
its more than I can bear

You said you loved me once
but that was all an lie
you left me here alone
now all I can do is cry

You picked me up and used me
as I was love sick fool
then you went back to your lover
the prettiest girl in school

now youve forgotten about me
but I cant let you go
boy you belong with me
I just cannot take no

so Im lying here in my bedroom
taking my last few gasps
Thinking of my soulmate
and the love that didnt last

- Lilly Jones

Betrayed

Stuck deep inside my own thoughts,
Questions tieing my mind in knots,
Feeling lonely and feeling afraid,
But most of all, feeling betrayed.

The guy that always used to be there,
The only one I felt that truly cared,
Stabs my back and tells me lies,
And leaves me here alone to cry.

Then he comes home and tries to make up,
But deep down inside I am still hurt,
Using precious time he cannot see,
Not realising this crushes me.

- Sara

Dying Flower

The flower that once stood tall and strong,
Is dying now, but what went wrong?
A lack of love was in the air,
The fact of knowing no one cares,
Day by day a petal drops,
Lying on mud like heavy thoughts,
Like blood stops pumping through one's veins,
The withering plant no longer gains,
The vital things to survive alone,
But in the wind loneliness is blown,
Brown dead leaves are hanging low,
The flower will no longer grow,
Instead it droops into the ground,
Where in death the only joy is found.

- Sara