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Crying Barrier
Sunday, February 4th, 2007You see the lies in my heart,
How over time it turned black,
But Im forever hiding,
Behind a crying barrier.
Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.
You see Im dead in my heart,
So far gone to be brought back,
Still I have to hide,
Behind a crying barrier.
Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.
You see pain hidden in my heart,
Like a knife wound so deep,
I have to live,
Behind a crying barrier.
Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.
Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.
number of view: 1513
It’s all gone
Sunday, February 4th, 2007Nothing matters
It’s all gone
I’m empty and she doesn’t care
It doesn’t matter
How I feel or what I say
She’s far away
And wouldn’t stay
No matter what I say
It wouldn’t matter anyway
I used to wait for the day
Just to hear her say
I miss you
Guess I was the biggest fool
Didn’t want to think you were cruel
I’m alone now and broken
Left without even one token
Of love or caring
It all died on my birthday
How could I be so daring?
Thought you would understand
Why I was so upset
Instead you got mad at me
And hung up on me
It’s been a week
You wouldn’t even talk to me
How could you do that to me?
Nothing matters at all
I used to stand so tall
Now I wish for the stars
To cover up all these scars
Far away and small
Wonder if you think about me at all
Again I’m a fool for thinking
Guess I should be drinking
If only that were the way to get rid of my sadness
And bring me some gladness
Like I used to have
When I was with you
It was long ago
Why can’t I just let it go?
Like you have
You don’t feel me anymore
You’ve stopped keeping score
It’s all gone, as are you
Now I’m left with nothing to do
But brew
Over what once was
Just because
I’m an idiot and cared
And that is why I dared
To say what I said on my birthday
But I shouldn’t have shared
Because now I feel scared
And lost
And lonely
And hurt
And angry
And stupid
To think there ever was a cupid
For the two of us
Why did I make such a fuss?
It’s all over
I should just roll over
Because nothing matters anymore
You think I’m a bore
You think I’m a chore
And probably a whore
I can’t erase my mistakes
I believed you had forgiven me
I believed you loved me
And even when that part of it ended
I believed that at least there was something that mended
And that we had a friendship
You said you still adored me
You said that your heart still tightened
And that you would become frightened
When I was in trouble
And caught in some bubble
I believed you would help me
Get out of the rubble
Of this life that I live
In Binghamton while you are in Texas
Instead of staying close to me
You chose to make distance
I felt it but ignored it
I thought it was what you needed
I thought I would give it to you
Because you were my friend
And I loved you
I didn’t mind letting you go
I just didn’t want to lose you for good
Yet I did.
How could I know that you would
Let me go?
You let go fast
You forgot our past
Yes we had a past
A good past, a bad past
A past nonetheless
I understand you though
You don’t want to remember it
You’d rather forget what we had
It is easier that way
I understand that
Who would want to remember the pain?
So you let me go fast and furious
Anytime I tried to talk about our past
You ran away fast
And I was left last
And I acted rash
It made me so sad though
That I was so slow
To recognize what you did
Long ago
And what others could see
But I never wanted it to be like that
And so I sat, and got fat
Denying what you could see
Which was what could again never be.
You saw the truth in front of us
Coming at us like a bus
About to hit
Difference between you and me was,
You got out of the way
And I chose to stay
In the way
Of a tragedy
Which was my soul shattered
You had sense enough to scatter
While I was like, “what’s the matter’?
What a fool I was
Thinking that you still loved me like you once did
When instead you saw me as a kid
A fool and youngster
Naïve to the core
I have always been so unsure
This is not your problem though
And you made that clear
When you forgot all that I held dear
number of view: 1950
You’ve made me sad
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006You are gone
I used to love you.
You are gone
That’s the plain truth.
You are gone
Never coming back.
You are gone
My new heart’s black.
But since you’re gone
I guess it’s okay
To find new love
The same way.
Is that alright?
You won’t get mad?
‘Cuz even though we used to be in love
You’ve made me sad.
So You will repay
Repay Today.
For what you did.
You’re paying.
You are Gone.
number of view: 6665
Your turn to hurt
Saturday, February 12th, 2005When I first saw you,
I thought you were too good to be true,
The innocent look in your eyes,
Made me realize I loved you,
For days I acted perfect to see if you liked me too,
You started flirting and I thought,
It must be too good to be true,
And it was,
Who ever thought some one like you could hurt me so bad,
I saw you flirting with other girls,
I didn’t know what to do,
I loved you,
We became friends and I was so happy,
But one day you told me you hated me,
That very moment my heart shattered,
I wanted to cry,
But not in front of you,
So I ran home,
And that night I cried a million tears,
I hope you are happy now,
I don’t care about anything or anyone now,
All because of three words,
Well now its your turn to hurt,
Your turn to cry,
Your turn to live your life just wishing you would die,
I hope these words make your life totally blue,
‘I hate you’
number of view: 5120
Suicide note
Thursday, December 2nd, 2004So close but so far away
Never wanted this anyway
If yesterday brings a better tomorrow
Im never gonna see today
My heart is broken
My scars split open
So this knife will be my god
And take me from this world
Take me from this world
Take me from this pain
Take me by the hand
Make it go away
Im leaving home
And if I never return
You don’t have to remember me
number of view: 4284
Stained glass eyes
Saturday, October 16th, 2004I look to a girl with so much class,
My eyes stare like broken glass,
The shards of tears flood the floor
For every single drop replaces two more,
For no one can wipe away my tears,
They are of pain condensed by fears,
The girl I crave find me not,
Always forgotten until I rot,
But when get consumed by the black,
Never to live or ever come back,
So I hold your heart close to mine,
And for once in my life I feel fine
number of view: 3126
My love will no longer exist
Sunday, September 19th, 2004Before I knew I loved him,
before I even cared,
before I felt so lonely,
before he wasn’t there.
I took it all for granted,
the love he had for me,
I never knew I loved him,
until he ceased to be.
My one,my love, my all
will no longer exist.
I lost him,he’s no more,
The only thing that’s left,
is his deteriorating soul.
i made him feel like nothing,
I made him feel like shit,
this heart is oh so broken,
my own grave i have digged.
With his death my soul has parted,
no more reson to exist.
Without him Im nothing,
in my death I will be missed.
number of view: 3632
I see a darkened land
Wednesday, September 8th, 2004I sit in the corner
With my broken heart
All you see is a mourner
I see a world torn apart
My tear drips to the floor
And no one’s there to catch it
cannot see the point anymore
Why would they care about it
I lay on my bed
Holding my own hand
All you see is a lonely girl
I see a darkened land
I stand in the empty room
Full of empty feeling
You see a girl full of gloom
I see a darkened ceiling
I swing
Hanging from a rope
You see an empty corpse
I see a new beginning
number of view: 3139
I still loved you too
Thursday, August 26th, 2004I’ve never cared about anyone like I care about you.
Im going crazy thinking about you.
You said you still loved me and you probably already knew,
That even though I acted like I didn’t,
I still loved you too!
number of view: 6846
It hurts me to say what Im about to say
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004I’ve been there for you through the good times and the bad,
And was there to wipe your tears away, whenever you were sad.
Always tried to make you happy, whenever you were mad,
And gave you everything you thought you’d never have.
All those magical nights that we kissed,
Those are the days I will always miss.
I loved every single one of those days,
And that’s why it hurts me to say what Im about to say.
I loved you unconditionally,
No matter what happened between you and me.
And I was blind, but now I see,
That you just wanted to be friends with me.
But I cannot just be your friend.
Because my broken heart will never mend.
You didn’t want to lose me,
but you lost me in the end.
Because I Love You too much,
to just be your friend.
number of view: 4784