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Where did all the children go ?

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Like years ago
I’m standing here
Leaning on the rail of this old porch
And the memories burn
Within my mind
Like flames of a brilliant torch

I see the remains
Of yesterday
And things that used to be
I recall mistakes
That I once made
They’ve never stopped haunting me

The little toys
Which once brought joy
Sit inside looking cold
They remind me of
A time gone by
When I felt I’d never grow old

A broken chair
Stands on three legs
A puzzle, never done
Time forgot them both
As it has forgot
A little boy in the summer sun

Now, like the toys
He stands alone
And the sun has gone away
But the memories
Keep coming out
As if saved for a rainy day

And little children
Playing in the snow
With a hole in every glove
Have been lost in time
But a dim fire burns
As if for a long lost love

And the old pond
Where we slid on ice
Has dried up years ago
The cows no longer
Quench thirst there
And high the weeds have grown

Now I look across
The old dirt road
And across the distant land
For miles I see
The empty fields
Where wood thickets used to stand

But the trees are gone
They gave up life
They were fell and burned away
And I hold a hope
Within my heart
That they’ll return someday

This little valley
Once seemed so big
But now it seems so small
And the town which once
Seemed far away
Seems now not far at all

Oh, the memories
Of yesterday
Come cutting like a knife
They bring back all
The bits and the pieces
That were forgotten in my life

A pile of clothes
In my old room
Sits in a closet all alone
They have no one
To play in them
For the little boy is grown

The tiles are yellowed
The walls have faded
And far away I’ve roamed
But no matter how far
I may journey away
This place is always home

And in my old room
An old bed still stands
My parents left it there
I walk through the door
And I see the past
As I breathe familiar air

This old house
Holds a lot of memories
Some were bad and some were good
And when Mom & Dad said
“Son, remember us”
I never really understood

You see, they knew of time
And of how it passes
And they told me to beware
“For memories will
Betray you, Son
And all will be changed here”

With my little cousins
Out in the yard
For hours we would play
Now time has passed
And I know them not
For we’ve gone our separate ways

Now I stand out here
In the evening sun
And I feel the summer breeze
And it blows warm
Across my face
And helps set my soul at ease

And yet still I see
The rustic remains
Of what life use to be
In my soul I wish
That for just one night
Time would bring it all back to me

The little games
We played as kids
We thought it would always last
Deep in my heart
I ask the clock
Why did the years go so fast

Well, my Mom and Dad
They are changed too
Time has taken them apart
And as their marriage died
Deep inside of me
Died a little piece of my own heart

In the little town
Where I ran around
With my friends in search of fun
There is no one left
That I once knew
They’ve grown up and they’ve all gone

In the town where I once
Knew everyone
So very few have remained
And I can’t help but wonder
Wherever they are
If they’re feeling the same pain

I look around me now
I see the old place
And what the years have done to it
And as I think of all
The years yet to come
Inside, I must tremble a bit

For I can’t help but wonder
As time goes on
And as age changes its face
When I come back home
In another time
Will I still recognize the old place?

Will time change it so
That these old hills
And all that is around
Seems strange to me
Will I think of it
As just another little town

And all of us kids
When school was cancelled
Would ride sleds across the snow
As I look around
I ask myself
Where did all those children go?

Are they lost in time
Are they gone for good
Why must we all grow old
If I shed a tear
For the children gone
Would it be considered too bold

Time has taken us all
So very far away
From each other and from our home
And rarely we return
To see one another
And the hills we use to roam

And I wonder why
When I left this place
In my heart I felt so glad
Only to return
After years had passed
And in my heart to feel so sad

But as much as things
May change with time
As it has changed from the start
This home of mine
Will always have
A very special place in my heart

And when all is lost
When all have died
Or when they’ve all left me
I’ll look up to the Heavens
And say “Thank you, Lord
For giving me…My memories”

number of view: 37

Crying Barrier

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

You see the lies in my heart,
How over time it turned black,
But Im forever hiding,
Behind a crying barrier.

Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.

You see Im dead in my heart,
So far gone to be brought back,
Still I have to hide,
Behind a crying barrier.

Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.

You see pain hidden in my heart,
Like a knife wound so deep,
I have to live,
Behind a crying barrier.

Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.

Im not breathing,
Don’t you see?
I have broken,
This crying barrier.

number of view: 1616

It’s all gone

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

Nothing matters
It’s all gone
I’m empty and she doesn’t care
It doesn’t matter
How I feel or what I say
She’s far away
And wouldn’t stay
No matter what I say
It wouldn’t matter anyway
I used to wait for the day
Just to hear her say
I miss you
Guess I was the biggest fool
Didn’t want to think you were cruel
I’m alone now and broken
Left without even one token
Of love or caring
It all died on my birthday
How could I be so daring?
Thought you would understand
Why I was so upset
Instead you got mad at me
And hung up on me
It’s been a week
You wouldn’t even talk to me
How could you do that to me?
Nothing matters at all
I used to stand so tall
Now I wish for the stars
To cover up all these scars
Far away and small
Wonder if you think about me at all
Again I’m a fool for thinking
Guess I should be drinking
If only that were the way to get rid of my sadness
And bring me some gladness
Like I used to have
When I was with you
It was long ago
Why can’t I just let it go?
Like you have
You don’t feel me anymore
You’ve stopped keeping score
It’s all gone, as are you
Now I’m left with nothing to do
But brew
Over what once was
Just because
I’m an idiot and cared
And that is why I dared
To say what I said on my birthday
But I shouldn’t have shared
Because now I feel scared
And lost
And lonely
And hurt
And angry
And stupid
To think there ever was a cupid
For the two of us
Why did I make such a fuss?
It’s all over
I should just roll over
Because nothing matters anymore
You think I’m a bore
You think I’m a chore
And probably a whore
I can’t erase my mistakes
I believed you had forgiven me
I believed you loved me
And even when that part of it ended
I believed that at least there was something that mended
And that we had a friendship
You said you still adored me
You said that your heart still tightened
And that you would become frightened
When I was in trouble
And caught in some bubble
I believed you would help me
Get out of the rubble
Of this life that I live
In Binghamton while you are in Texas
Instead of staying close to me
You chose to make distance
I felt it but ignored it
I thought it was what you needed
I thought I would give it to you
Because you were my friend
And I loved you
I didn’t mind letting you go
I just didn’t want to lose you for good
Yet I did.
How could I know that you would
Let me go?
You let go fast
You forgot our past
Yes we had a past
A good past, a bad past
A past nonetheless
I understand you though
You don’t want to remember it
You’d rather forget what we had
It is easier that way
I understand that
Who would want to remember the pain?
So you let me go fast and furious
Anytime I tried to talk about our past
You ran away fast
And I was left last
And I acted rash
It made me so sad though
That I was so slow
To recognize what you did
Long ago
And what others could see
But I never wanted it to be like that
And so I sat, and got fat
Denying what you could see
Which was what could again never be.
You saw the truth in front of us
Coming at us like a bus
About to hit
Difference between you and me was,
You got out of the way
And I chose to stay
In the way
Of a tragedy
Which was my soul shattered
You had sense enough to scatter
While I was like, “what’s the matter’?
What a fool I was
Thinking that you still loved me like you once did
When instead you saw me as a kid
A fool and youngster
Naïve to the core
I have always been so unsure
This is not your problem though
And you made that clear
When you forgot all that I held dear

number of view: 2182

I miss you I will find you

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

I cannot believe that your really gone
I want this just to be a terrible dream
don’t wake me up
cuz in my mind your still here with me
I will find you bring you back
I cannot believe how much I miss you
I toke advantage of you
now I know
you don’t know what you have until its gone
I need you here with me
you were the only one
who knows what I was saying before I said it
if anyone has ever loved someones and lost them
he knows what I mean
I miss you so much
now every thought of you and me gives me nightmares
I hope you can hear this
hear me cry as I die
I keep believing I will find you
I tried to find you when you first left
but all I found was
broken promises you never kept and lies you always told
I cannot see how god could do this to me
I miss you I will find you

number of view: 2463

You’ve made me sad

Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

You are gone
I used to love you.
You are gone
That’s the plain truth.
You are gone
Never coming back.
You are gone
My new heart’s black.
But since you’re gone
I guess it’s okay
To find new love
The same way.
Is that alright?
You won’t get mad?
‘Cuz even though we used to be in love
You’ve made me sad.
So You will repay
Repay Today.
For what you did.
You’re paying.
You are Gone.

number of view: 6834

Keeping a Night Sky Alive

Saturday, March 12th, 2005

Shooting stars keep a night sky alive
and calm dark waters are rippled by a feeding fish
With our back against the dewy grass, you whisper,
“they dont last…..so make a wish.”

They burn so bright, then drop out of sight
I would spend a lifetime to take it all in
Maybe our fires done burning
and like those stars…..weve fallen

Our past sings through swaying trees
and words break silence like a distant wind chime
Maybe this is only the beginning
and we will burn brighter in time

So tonight I share my wish
to the girl with the broken smile
ill throw it all in the water
and ask her to stay a while

number of view: 2795

Your turn to hurt

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

When I first saw you,
I thought you were too good to be true,
The innocent look in your eyes,
Made me realize I loved you,
For days I acted perfect to see if you liked me too,
You started flirting and I thought,
It must be too good to be true,
And it was,
Who ever thought some one like you could hurt me so bad,
I saw you flirting with other girls,
I didn’t know what to do,
I loved you,
We became friends and I was so happy,
But one day you told me you hated me,
That very moment my heart shattered,
I wanted to cry,
But not in front of you,
So I ran home,
And that night I cried a million tears,
I hope you are happy now,
I don’t care about anything or anyone now,
All because of three words,
Well now its your turn to hurt,
Your turn to cry,
Your turn to live your life just wishing you would die,
I hope these words make your life totally blue,
‘I hate you’

number of view: 5425

Suicide note

Thursday, December 2nd, 2004

So close but so far away
Never wanted this anyway
If yesterday brings a better tomorrow
Im never gonna see today

My heart is broken
My scars split open
So this knife will be my god
And take me from this world

Take me from this world
Take me from this pain
Take me by the hand
Make it go away

Im leaving home
And if I never return
You don’t have to remember me

number of view: 4529

Stained glass eyes

Saturday, October 16th, 2004

I look to a girl with so much class,
My eyes stare like broken glass,
The shards of tears flood the floor
For every single drop replaces two more,

For no one can wipe away my tears,
They are of pain condensed by fears,
The girl I crave find me not,
Always forgotten until I rot,

But when get consumed by the black,
Never to live or ever come back,
So I hold your heart close to mine,
And for once in my life I feel fine

number of view: 3196

My turn to say goodbye..

Thursday, October 7th, 2004

Detached and hopeless lying on the ground,
no one seems to care so I don’t make a sound.
Silently crying the world turns away,
I called for help but my soul died today.
I walk through the halls crying and wishing for love,
I opened my arms and I was turned away,
I don’t understand why people are this way,
The world is so ruthless, so cold, so unfeeling,
I tried to stop but it all seemed so unbearable.
So I turned my back and the world turned theirs,
I sit and cry and no matter how hard I seem to try,
All I really want to do is to die.
Now is my turn to say goodbye..

number of view: 7525