Love is Lonely

Cobra in the rose patch

Do you have an itch to scratch?

Do you know how to avoid

A rose bush that is annoyed?

How can you associate

With bushes that are the thorniest?

Don’t you know

The bushes have roses ready for a show?

The rose patch can be very dangerous

For a killer of your grandness

If her thorns get you the wrong way

She will take more than your itchy skin away.

Devil in my mind, motherhood in my heart.

Your name I had already chose…

Rage is what I feel at moment

I failed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I am repeating I failed!!!!!!!!!

Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me.

Making my heart a better place, trying to smile more often

Those are just a disguise, a mask that I hide under

In you, I’m still tangled up

I dreamed about your first smile, your first word…

My joy, you were supposed to be, between all these sorrows and heartaches

But I didn’t know how to stand up for you

Am I cursed for being too weak at times?

I missed out on you!!!!!!!!

My unborn child

How would you look?

Would you have your mommy’s full lips?

or your daddy’s large smile?

All are mysteries now…

I wish I had the strength

The power of forgetting and letting go…

but hey I guess I have to live with it

And feel lucky that I am still breathing…

Courage I still need…

dignity I am still fighting for…

but I will find my way…

If I am lucky enough my way I will definitely find…

What takes years to build
Can crumble down
Every nail connecting every
Piece of lumber
Every door, every floor,
Every memory in the house
Destroyed so instantly
That it is just a speck of time
Compared to the years of effort
To shape the house into what it is
And will a hit of a wrecking ball,
A sledgehammer and bulldozer
A few garbage trucks later
And what used to stand
Now stands a barren field
Filled with grass
Slowly sprouting from the dirt
Knowing that the house will never come back
The memories will never be added to
And there will always be a missing piece
On that piece of land
Where a life once stood

Take off your clothes

Show me your scars

The past hidden

Beneath the outer appearance

Bare and naked

Nothing to hide,

nothing to put in front of you

To hide your bare skin

Of who you are

Whipping around through the air

Lighting up your face

Heat radiating against your skin

Your back is cold,

Turned away from the centre

Of the dancing flames

Warm soothing colours

That are so beautiful

Contrasting the black backdrop

And the dotted stars

From millions of miles away

Engulfing everything in rage and madness

Evil and destruction, crumbling bricks

Crashing down from the tops of the tall chimney

That once stood tall and strong, now weak and decaying

The oranges and yellows shoot into the sky

From the tall house

The same oranges and yellows

That was once so beautiful

In that cold night at the campfire

Away with fear, away with my pain

Destroy it all along with my life

Take my life and erase it all

Leave nothing left for fear to come

Fear lives in my mind

Fear lives in my soul

Fear lives in everything that is inside me

Just like the darkness I am poison

Just Kill me now!

No time to waste!

Just kill me now!

Let this torture end!

End it!

Just end it now!

End my life now!

So I can

Rest In Peace

Nobody cares.

So many are complaining

That nobody is listening.

I have to take care of myself here.

I am floating in the darkness.

Am I floating face up?

Or face down?

Which way is left?

Which way right?

I don’t care

As long as I am floating.

It means I am not lying

At the bottom of despair.

Now if i could only find

A point of light afar

Like a distant star,

I could orient myself

And find my way out

Of the darkness.

Tonight bares no regrets

least that’s what i said before i left

To the vast open space where not a soul cared

A lonely soul sitting, waiting….waiting for what

Holding back tears, on a bench so scared

Wondering if its my time now, am i really prepared

A silent smirk twisted the night as the full moon blazed

whose shadow is that? am i going to be alright.

I began walking faster, heart beating like never before

but the foot steps grew louder and louder, I couldn’t ignore

I turned around and there she was gazing into my soul

her eyes so heartless, Malicious and cold

She walked closer to me as i fell to the ground and shake

I closed my eyes with full force wishing this was all a dream when i felt something touch my lips

It was a kiss, As she whispered in my ear her name

Risa Death wish

My eyes eased open wanting to tell her mine

but the lights of tomorrow began to shine…

My body is numb

My heart is dead

My mind is empty

Am I alive?

Can falling into

the darkness cause so much pain.

Or does falling into the darkness

Help me remember the pain

That was once forgotten?

All these questions circle my mind

Over and over again.

But the real question is

Does falling into the darkness

Create the need to see

The Light.

The angel wings wrap around me

The wings of darkness take

Away my soul and my tears

The same tears I cried

In the silence of sorrow

As I fall into the darkness

The amount of light

Decreasing

Falling and falling

I take once last look

At the light

For it is my last glimpse of it

Within seconds I am trapped

In the falling darkness.