The things I relearn, relearn
and relearn again
The lessons I could never
get in my head
come round every
so many years
hoping my brain
finally hears

For my mind is filled
with dreams and visions,
deep profound thoughts,
and spiritual inspirations
So many messages
on my blue wings
toss practical thoughts
and mundane things

The technical mechanics
the boggling unrest
the business as usual
the mainstream of life
I fear that I’ll never
have toughness or presence
The things that proletariats
live for in essence

I miss the daylight
of ordinary life
love, babies, cats, dogs,
white houses, green lawns
The things most people
cherish the most
the dinners, baseball
the great wedding toast

In my older years
will I finally get it
the basics of life
and how you
should live it
We’re all different
the therapists say
Will I finally reach
the edge of my dark days

Will I get intact
and rise to a steady life
earning money wherever,
have a family, red car,
and good friends
Getting all kinds of things
that I earn
to receive all the nice
parts of life that I yearn

This has been troublesome
I pray hard for all of this
The coming of age,
while my heart’s let down and torn
I want to have what
everyone should
Love and life
that is simple and good

 

 

I would stand by the ocean for hours.

Seeing your face in the sea.

The sand castles crumble, as the waves pound against them.

And I see your face once again.

Hands in my pockets, head to the ground.

I’m leaving marks in the sand.

Beauty surrounds me, as if you were near.

The waves like your hair,

The sun like your eyes,

The sand, as soft as your lips.

 

You left me with nothing.

Nothing but the ocean,

And the vision of us by the sea.

My heart’s like those sand castles;

Gradually wearing away,

And there’s nothing to hold back the waves.

 

I’m getting closer,

And you are coming back to me.

Every step towards the blue,

is a step closer to you.

I see you, as if you were here,

You’re not far away.

I can feel your cool skin,

As the cold wraps round my legs.

I can feel your hands again,

As mine glide through the water.

I can hear you calling to me.

I am coming.

It’s getting higher,

And I’m getting deeper,

But I am not afraid.

Soon I’ll be with you.

You stand on one beach,

I stand on another

And we whisper to the waves.

The winds wash my messages to your shore.

 

You’re so far away

But I still hear your words.

Even distance can’t compete with this love.

 

I sit in the sand late at night,

Waiting for your reply;

Waiting for the tides to come in.

 

When a new message comes,

I feel it in the breeze.

My whole world still aches for you.

 

Your new life seems exciting,

The waves remind me often.

You haven’t yet asked about mine.

 

The tides are getting slower,

They aren’t talking much anymore,

Maybe you’re just busy.

 

It’s been months now,

I’m still waiting.

 

Now I talk to the ocean,

But the waves crash upon my words,

And the tides bring them right back to me.

 

Maybe they’re telling me to move on,

Or that you already have.

 

I have no one,

All I have is the blue.

And now im reading this poem to the waves.

I will kiss every scar on your tortured skin,

Until flowers spring from where I planted them.

 

I will tell you you’re beautiful again and again,

Until you look in the mirror and smile.

 

I will show you the beauty in even the darkest of things,

Until you see all the wonders in life.

 

I will sing to you softly as we lie under the moon,

Until you fall asleep in my arms.

 

I will hold your hand tightly every minute of the day,

Until you realise you aren’t alone.

 

I will love you forever with every inch of my body,

Until you learn to love yourself.

Ever since I felt your lips,

You haven’t left my mind.

 

I crave your touch,

Your taste,

Your voice,

I want you to be mine.

 

I travel the world,

Over miles of ocean,

So my heart can start over new.

 

But no matter the distance,

Place,

Time,

I still find myself thinking of you.

Get these voices out of my mind,

I’m drowning but no one can see.

They’re pulling me down, deeper and deeper,

Please someone set me free.

 

The darkness it consumes me,

And all I feel is pain.

I need to get these demons out,

So only light remains.

She cried in the mirror

As she pinched the fat on her ugly skin

And watched the one she loved walk away.

 

She cried into the  toilet bowel

As she regurgitated last night’s dinner

And watched the one she loved walk away.

 

She cried on the bathroom floor

As she dragged blades through her wrists

And watched the one she loved walk away.

 

So sick of never being good enough.

So sick of being alone.

 

She cries no longer

As she hangs by her neck

And watches the ones she once loved, from above.

She tries to light the moon on fire,

Standing on a hill in the night.

She strikes a match and holds it high,

As she reaches for the moon.

For if the moon were to burn,

Then what a world it would be.

 

When the sun would set, everyone could be free,

For nothing but the darkness would remain.

There would be no people,

Only voices.

 

No one could see your

Skin colour,

Height,

Weight,

Or scars.

Everybody equal, under the power of darkness.

 

She sees this world,

With every match she lights.

 

But with every match,

She misses the moon,

And burns her skin instead.

Am I beautiful yet? She asked herself

Looking at her newly bleached hair.

As the stylist did her finishing touches,

And she sat on the dresser chair.

 

Am I beautiful yet? She asked herself

Trying on her newly bought dress.

As she looks at her empty wallet

Wishing beauty would cost a lot less.

 

Am I beautiful yet? She asked herself

Painting her lips with red.

As she evens out the foundation lines

Just as the magazine had said.

 

Am I beautiful yet? She asked herself

Watching her stomach roll

As she hunches over on the bathroom floor

Emptying out into the toilet bowl.

 

This can’t be right, he says to her,

You’ve been beautiful all along.

But now you’re just another copy,

Because you tried to fix what was never wrong.

When the rain starts to fall,

I do too.

For I am safe from the storm,

But I am not home safe with you.

When the mist fills the air,

It fills my eyes too.

For these cold winter days,

Were the days I spent with you.

 

The wind in the trees

And the dew on the leaves,

Take me back to those cold winter days.

When we curled up in bed,

And those poems you read,

Made me go off to sleep where I lay.

 

Now I sit alone,

With a chill through my bones,

And look out my window of frost.

Through the foggy glass,

I watch the time pass,

And realise without you, I am lost.