I Think of You Often

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I Think of You Often
5 (100%) 1 vote

I think of you often
What would life
Have been like with you
If we were together

If you had just
Talked to me
Showed interest in me
Held my hand
Looked into my eyes
Put your arm around my shoulders

Took me in your arms
Kissed me
Your lips on mine
Searing down my neck
Your hands blazing
A path down my back
Cradling me against your body

Opening me to you
With gentle hands
Cupping me
Fill me up
Till I explode
Liquid lightening

But you didn’t
You were quiet
Shy, so was I
For 2 months
We went out
But never really got to
Know each other

If I were different then
If you were different then
I should have tried harder
I wish I had been different, then
I am different, now
Are you?
Are you still interested
I’m scared to find out
What if you don’t live
Up to what is in my head
What if you take one look at me
And say…I dodged a bullet on that one

I so want you to be the man in my head
To have the life, in my head
That I dream of with you
But I’m scared, the dream is safe
Reality isn’t

I am Forgotten

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I am forgotten
I am overlooked
I am ignored
I am underestimated

I am beginning to get used
To this treatment
I don’t know how to
Change it

I don’t know how to
Get others to treat me
Differently
With more respect

Everyone does it
Family, friends
Even strangers
People on the street

I am so alone
Lonely
Despaired
Forgotten

I wish I would just die
I am so tired
Worn out
I want it to be over

I’m tired of the
Constant pain
The pain of living
With no joy
No happiness

Everything is a chore
Even the task of
Taking a shower
Is an effort

There is no light
Anywhere to be seen
Just darkness
No love, no touch
No whisper
Of love in my life

Why am I here
What purpose do I serve
Why don’t you want me
To come home God?

Please God let me come home…….

One Chapter is Over

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One chapter is over
It should have been
Over a long time ago
The abuse, the neglect
What did I ever see in him
He is so cold
Unfeeling, callous
He thinks only of himself
What he wants
What is good for him
No one else

It is time to go
Leave this prison
Spread my wings
And fly far from here

Time for the new chapter
To begin
New people, new places
New love….
An adventure
The possibilities are endless

Look up old loves
For new beginnings
Second chances
I’m a different person, now
I want a person who loves me
Respects me
Someone who still thinks of me
30 years later
What love that must be

I want that love
I need that love
I will find that love
I will love that man
I will give that man the best
Rest of his life
If he will just love me

Monster

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Monster
4.33 (86.67%) 3 votes

I’m afraid of myself and who i am
I struggle to feel something so simple
I am of one body with two minds
A monster who i wish to damn
Who am i so lost without any signs
Nothing to direct me from this path

Am i nothing but a prison?
A cage for a beast which i fear?
My soul is nothing but a cataclysm
Who can guide me like an angels seer?
Or shall i betray those i love?
Like an apocalyptic treason
It’s as if i have no reason

Who shall save me when push comes to shove?
Who can accept my heart that is colder then a winter season?
Am i only a monster hidden inside?
So many question so few answers

A monster and a coward stand side by side
Hate burning like a thousand pyromancers
Kindness dying like a successful suicide

Am a monster or am i a man?
Do i kill or do i love?
Ive lost my self in my head
If i can’t save me than who can?
I see no god above
No devil ahead
Just me and my reflection
And that’s how it will end

This is Sjogrens

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This is Sjogrens
3.5 (70%) 2 votes

No one seems to care
The pain I’m in
Everyone goes their way
Not a care in the world

I am in pain
Day in day out
Pain wracks my body
Sometimes less
Sometimes more

Still no one cares
Eyes dry, mouth dry
I cry, but tears are sparse
Drink, drink, drink. Water

Pain in my joints
Stiff and sore
Tiredness, fatigue
No matter how much I sleep
It does no good

Put on a smile
A brave face
For the world to see
But when I talk of the pain
They cut me off
call me strong
That I am doing so well
They just don’t want
to hear of the pain

No one to talk to
No one to understand
Alone, in this
Alone in the world

When will this stop
When will I feel better
Never, this is my life
From now on
This is Sjogrens